The Collected Adventures of Princess Padfoot
by transfigurationprodigy
Summary: Collection of drabbles based on the fanon that Sirius Black was a huge drama queen, and my own particular headcanon that James and Remus liked to tease him by calling him "Princess Padfoot" whenever his drama became too much. James and Remus began writing the stories down, and thus the adventures were born. DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these characters-this is for fun only!
1. vs the big mean mud puddle

**Princess Padfoot vs. the big mean mud puddle**_  
_

_(A Princess Padfoot adventure by James Potter)_

One day, Princess Padfoot was at the Three Broomsticks with his best mates in the whole wide world: Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, and the ruggedly handsome James Potter. The four of them were just finishing up their butter beers when they noticed it had started to rain outside.

"Oh, Merlin above," Princess Padfoot wailed, bringing his hand to his forehead in distress. "The mud is going to ruin my beautiful new dragon hide boots. I can't go back to the castle now! I'm destined to remain here forever, trapped in this ramshackle pub. Oh, the injustice of it all!" Poor, poor Princess Padfoot began to cry.

"Not to worry," said James in a deep and masculine voice. He stood up, his roguish and sexy hair blowing in the breeze that had somehow kicked up indoors. "**_I'll_** save you Princess Padfoot!"

Princess Padfoot simpered in appreciation. "**_My hero_**," he gushed.

Then, James scooped Princess Padfoot up into his strong arms and carried him back to the castle as Remus and Peter sang songs heralding his chivalry. All of the other students cheered James as he passed by, and Princess Padfoot waved his hanky and blew kisses to the crowd.


	2. and the too-far-away pumpkin juice

**Princess Padfoot and the too-far-away pumpkin juice  
**

_(A Princess Padfoot adventure by Remus Lupin)_

It was a bright and beautiful morning. The charming and intelligent Remus Lupin was whistling a happy tune as he strolled into the Great Hall for breakfast.

But **Hark**! What sound? His werewolf senses tingling, he quickly scanned the room for the source of the disruption. His eyes soon fell on the figure of Princess Padfoot, slumped over the Gryffindor table, sobbing inconsolably into his hands.

Remus rushed to his side in an instant. "What ho, fair Princess? Who has offended thee?"

Princess Padfoot turned his tear-streaked face to him. "No Remus…don't make me say it. It's all…too…terrible!" he gasped, his handsome face crumpling into tears once more.

But the brave Sir Remus would not be deterred. "Nonsense Princess! Nothing is too terrible for the Magnificent Moony!" Remus had never called himself that before, but it sounded pretty good. He gave himself a mental high-five.

Snuffling somewhat, Princess Padfoot paused in his flood of tears. "It's the pumpkin juice," he wailed. "I can't reach it!"

The Magnificent Moony located the pitcher of juice and scowled at it threateningly. "**_How dare you insult Princess Padfoot!_**" he roared. Unsurprisingly, the juice showed no visible reaction, but Magnificent Moony could just tell it was shaking it its little juice shoes.

Taking matters into his own hands, Magnificent Moony left the weeping form of Princess Padfoot, boldly strode five feet to the right, picked up the cowering pitcher of juice, boldy returned (he was very bold indeed), and placed the juice on the table.

"There now, sweet Princess! Your **champion** has saved the day!"

Princess Padfoot looked at Magnificent Moony in admiration. "_**My hero**_," he sighed.

Just then, a brilliant sunbeam fell from the ceiling of the Great Hall and bathed Magnificent Moony it its light. All of the students stood on their respective house tables and applauded while Magnificent Moony threw his head back and laughed with great gusto.


	3. and the horrible vision

_**Princess Padfoot and the horrible vision**_

_(A Princess Padfoot adventure by James Potter)_

It was a dark and stormy winter's night. Remus Lupin and buff quidditch hunk James Potter were sitting in the Gryffindor common room, studying for their upcoming potions exam.

Suddenly, Princess Padfoot burst through the portrait hole. "Oh, the horror, the horror," he cried, as he dramatically fainted away onto the couch. "I swear to Merlin I shall never be the same man ever again!"

James jumped to his feet in a flash. "What's wrong Princess Padfoot? Has some foul cur besmirched your honor? Simply say the word, and I shall make them pay for their cowardly offenses!"

"No, no," Princess Padfoot wailed, now writhing on the couch in agony. "It's too dreadful!"

"Speak, I beg you dear Princess!" James cried, his voice ringing with noble purpose. He really was quite the catch (if only certain gingers who shall remain nameless would notice).

"I...I...," Princess Padfoot stammered. "I saw Peter kissing Allison Hawker from Hufflepuff behind a suit of armor!" Here, he stopped and took a long shuddering sob. "I don't think my eyes will ever be the same!" Princess Padfoot shook with the horror of his vision. "**_Hold me James! Hold me in your strong, chaser developed arms_**!"

"There there, sweet Princess," James muttered soothingly, pulling Princess Padfoot into the most masculine hug he could manage (lest certain gingers who shall remain nameless would get the wrong idea). "**You're safe now**."


End file.
